Saturday, July 31, 2010

It's a dog's life...

So I decided the other day that I might have a slightly over active imagination. This revelation came shortly after my sister came home from Alaska. For those of you who don't know, she was there visiting her boyfriend for 9 days. Perhaps I should back up though, because there is crucial information that needs to be included here. So while Joe and I were in Oregon visiting my parents, someone tried to break into our house while my sister was here! Super duper scary...anyway. When I came home I was maybe a little freaked out about it but I did ok because Shawna was home and I had Ramsey here to protect me. Or something of that nature...haha. Those of you who don't know my dog will not get that joke. now to the more present day...

Shawna left and I was fine. I could sleep at night. But then after a day or so, I started to get a little bit nervous. I started hearing things in the house...noises that of course could only be made by a person...these noises would lead me to get out of bed and walk around the house, carrying something hard- usually my boot, and turning on all the lights to scare away whatever intruder was in the house. Of course no one was really there, but one night I had myself completely 100% convinced there was someone walking down the hall that I decided I had to do something.

And so began Operation Barricade Self in Room. My first line of defense was to add another protection unit in the form of Joe
's dog Brody. Now Brody may not be the brightest, but he can be very mean. People might not take my dog with her floppy ears, lopsided eyes and freakish coloring very seriously, but Brody is a dog to be cautious around! So I was off to a good start. Then I installed my second line of defense- a shotgun which I named Priscilla and placed right next to my bed. I also placed a trash can in front of my door as a sort of alarm system. It's a loud trash can. That wasn't enough though so I put my rather large vanity chair right in front of the door to block it from being opened and placed a night light in the hall so I could see the shadow of anyone trying to sneak in. I took this all very seriously and made certain everything was in place before I went to sleep at night. In retrospect, I think I'm a little bit crazy! haha

To further prove my point, I spent the whole day on Monday walking around the woods and planning how Joe and I would
survive an attack by dinosaurs. I actually came up with a totally legit plan in case anyone is wondering. It's all about the triceratops!

Since earlier I was speaking of my d
og...I decided something tonight, while I was standing on the porch yelling my dog's name at 10 o'clock at night. My dog does not listen to me. At all. Every morning around 6, I stand on my porch and yell for my dog, who does not stay in the yard longer than 46.8 seconds after I put her out. I scream her name over and over and my obnoxious voice bounces off all the houses full of sleeping people and I think to myself, "I'm that neighbor. The neighbor everybody hates based solely on the sound of my voice, because that's the only way they know me. I'm the crazy one who's always on the porch in her pjs yelling for her dog who clearly does not respect her." And I am that neighbor. And my dog is that dog. She goes around eating the other dogs' food, eating the neighbors' toys, gloves, tools, etc., and pooping in people's yards. She gets away with it because she's sweet...and her funky coat allows her to blend into the trees so she can just sneak around destroying people's lives. At least she came back tonight. That's a bonus. I'm going to pretend that she's becoming better behaved! Haha...I do love that dog though...

Enough of my rambling...
I'm leaving for PA in 6 days- pray for my g-parents please!

And in 70 days I get to marry the love of my life! woohoo!!

1 comment:

  1. Hello Lady Friend, i just adored reading this. ha. Ramsey is the yep i just said on a pulic forum. This is pretty funny.. also a SHOTGUN. i dont know if i am ready to be turned that "hickish" holy scary.

    also i looked up plane tickets on craigslist, because people will sell round trip tickets to anywhere for like 300 bucks, which isnt bad!