Friday, August 13, 2010

My Pops

Sometimes it amazes me that I never run out of things to say...but what amazes me even more is that right now, I have so much to say but I can't find a way to say it. It is hard to see someone you love hurting and I find myself not even wanting to talk or think about his pain. Instead, I think I'd rather talk about the Pops I knew before his brain tumor.

I was filing Pops' nails for him the other day so I spent a lot of time studying his hands. I have a thing for hands in general because I believe a person's hands say a lot about him or her. Usually when I meet someone, I'll sneak a look or two at their hands to get an idea of what kind of life that person leads. My Pops' hands speak loudly of his life.

Popop has huge hands, a farm boy's hands. That is one thing that has not changed. His fingers are gnarled and his palms broad and well-worn: the perfect hand to hold. I remember when I was a little girl how small my hand felt when it disappeared into Popop's big, strong hand; I knew I was safe when my hand was wrapped in those hard-working hands. Strong hands that held onto me when the ocean would swirl around my ankles and with a swift tug, pull my legs out from under me. Gentle hands that would clean tar from the beach off my feet and wipe my tears when I played in the ant pile. Firm hands that reminded me of the proper way to behave. Capable hands that helped build the room I grew up in and made the best pancakes on the face of the earth. Rough hands that would slam open and shut every cabinet in the kitchen at 6 in the morning even though my sister and I were sleeping 10 feet away. Patient hands that played hours of Uncle Wiggly with my sister and taught me how to play rummy. Hands that worked on a farm, survived a Depression and a War, raised 5 children, were married for 64 years, and constantly folded in prayer. I love those hands!

I am lucky that I can sit with Pops for a few hours every day and get to hold those hands that I love so much and that did so much for me. My hand still gets lost in his. I look forward to the occasional sentence uttered and the even rarer smile. I love to see the way he looks at my Mimi. He may not remember who I am, but he could never forget his Mae. They are a wonderful example of true love for me as I'm getting ready to start my life with my honey. I've got great grandparents...I'm a lucky girl!

Only a few more days here and then it's back to real life. Wedding countdown is down to 56 days! I can't wait!


  1. hey lady I am so sorry about your Grandpa. Glad you have so many sweet memories and you are amazing. Love you tons and excited for your big day that is approaching. married life is great!

  2. I got misty eyed. not gonna lie. It is so great you wrote this.... you will look back at it.... I dont know if i have much else to say :). for once.